Mother

My mom is the opposite of my dad, she speaks her mind freely sometimes more than she intends to. I think she speaks without thinking and that could be a bad thing for her most of the time because then she comes off as a bit mean. She’s more blunt and realistic then my dad, she says love doesn’t last forever and that its more of just a partnership in the end. My thoughts on love are more like my dad’s with a small dose of my mom. I’ve had my differences with my mother but it’s common between a child and a parent. As an adult now I can tell when it’s best to just apologize because there is no getting through to her, which is fine, that’s just how she is. She’s very strict but only because she worries and is paranoid over everything. That’s a mother’s love to worry for her child no matter how much they say they are fine.

But my mom is more than just a stubborn head. She loves to burst into song for no reason at least ten times a day, which can be annoying if you’ve been gaming all night till 4am and she decides the morning is the best time to sing. It can also be a sweet thing however knowing that she has the confidence and joy to sing everyday no matter the circumstance. I’ve realized the other day that I take on one of the things she does. We both, when upset, start cleaning what’s around us. I don’t know why my mom does it, but because of my OCD cleaning and organizing helps me calm down, it gives me a sense of relief. Doing this while listening to music is usually my therapy. I also like singing like my mom but I’m not as confident as she is, I can only sing in front of certain people or alone most of the time.

When we were in grammar school during our summer breaks my mom would sit us down and continue to teach us and make us study more. As a child, this was very tedious thing, but there is one thing she taught me that I can never forget and I’m very thankful for. I had just learned multiplication in school and my mom had me studying in the summer. She begins to teach me division, it was difficult but after pages and pages of problem solving I had it down. When school started again, the teacher went over multiplication a few times and then came division. All the kids in my class room were losing it, they had just got the hang of multiplication what was this monstrosity that was laid upon on them. The teacher handed out worksheets for us to answer the problems, and I couldn’t help but laugh and think of my mom. Because of her I would glide on through this course, I had already mastered this over the summer. So, while everyone was struggling I was high fiving my mom in my head.

With my mom, I had to hold my tongue a lot, like I’ve said before I rather not say something in anger and then regret it later. As a teenager, I felt like she said a few hurtful things, she’s locked me out the house a couple times, but looking at it as an adult I can’t help but to think, well, what would I do? With a stubborn kid that won’t listen, I’d probably do the same thing. There are a few things maybe she could have done differently but there is no such thing as a perfect parent. I also came to understand that my mom comes from a different time, she just raised us the way she was, the only way she understands. Which is fine by me, we grew up to be respectful kids. Well at least me and my older brother, my younger siblings I think got a little spoiled since my mom kind of gave up a little more with them, not as strict as she was with me and my older brother.

Now me and my mom sit in the kitchen and can just talk, go to the gym together when we both have the motivation to do so. We can communicate a lot better than before, honestly all I used to think was my mother never loved me that I didn’t understand why she would say the things she said. What I didn’t realize was, what was my mom going through? My grandmother, her mom, passed away when I was in 5th grade, that was the time when I began to feel ignored. My mom was suffering through the time my grandma was alive. She would take care of her while she was sick and take her to her doctor’s appointments. My mom cried so much while she was alive, more than when she passed away I think. I remember the day my grandmother died crystal clear. They told us we were going to my aunt’s house where she was staying last. It was the middle of the night and I didn’t know what was going on, when we got there my cousin said they were all going to the hospital. But my grandma was long dead before the ambulance could even get there. She had died in her sleep; my aunt had tried to wake her up and she never did.

My mom had reached my uncles at Florida telling them when the funeral would be, of course they had every right to come see their mother one last time. But my aunts didn’t like that my mother reached my uncles because of some bad blood between them. I don’t know the details but I believe one of them was really drunk and had done something abusive to my cousin. The way my mom saw it, he was family and he had a right to see his mother and mourn for her at her funeral. I don’t know what happened exactly but I think I stand with my mom. They just had to deal with it for one day and they can continue hating each other for the rest of their lives. After that my aunts kind of gave my mom a hard time, we’re still not invited to family events. I personally don’t like how my aunts hold grudges and talk bad about one another. For all of this I can understand why my mom may have changed, but I still love my mom I just wish I can open her eyes to just relax and take it easy sometimes. It’s hurting her health being stressed out so much and it worries me a lot.

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